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anxious arms
2001-05-27-11:48 a.m.
"I don't want you, to know. Too much about me, oh no. 'Cause I know you'll take advantage of the words that I say, You're looking for a way to depress me... make me pay..." Oh hell, what is today? It's Sunday, the 27th I see. It's been a while since I updated. The reason for my lack of updates is this: I don't want to add an entry just because, or every time some chick pisses me off or I feel frustrated or happy. I'm waiting until I have something worthwhile and original to say. Of course, now you'll read this entry and probably wonder where this worthwhile and original thing is, and I have to say I don't know. But I feel like writing, so here we are. "You're on the top when I am low. As soon as you fade in I would roll" I'm in Houston, at my cousin Chuck's house. Or apartment actually, technically it's a "condo". I've had a nice little weekend, I haven't worked out, because no one wants to, and I've drank like a fish and eaten nothing but barbeque, mexican food, and jack in the box, and I didn't get laid. But you know what? It's still been a good weekend. It's actually been a real self-esteem booster of a weekend. Actually anyone who knows me knows I really don't need much of a self-esteem boost, because I border on being arrogant. But you know what? It never hurts to get a few compliments here and there, and for some reason this weekend, I racked 'em up. Over the past few days, I've actually been learning what I already know, but it's nice to have it reiteriated. Delayed-gratifaction, hard work, and patience can make your life like you want it. Taking chances and going for broke almost always leave you in a better place, and rarely leaves you broke. And you can quote me on that. I also found out that often, the idea and fantasy of something can be a lot more fun than the real thing. I'll avoid explaining this little letdown in detail though. I feel good that I tried and succeeded anyway, because if I hadn't, I'd still have the fantasy, but I'd always wonder, "What if?" I reeeeeally don't like wondering "What if?" Oh, by the way. My trip to California this summer fell through. No one I know has both the money, and the vacation time to go with me. At least no one I would want to spend 3 days driving across the desert with. But I'm now going to new york for a brief vacation, like 4 or 5 days. I just booked my flight last night. I'm going with my cousin/friend chuck and some friends of his, who are pretty nifty fellas too. We're gonna do all the touristy stuff, (I don't know if that's a real word) and I plan on spending most of the time wandering around the city, on the subway, going to museums and deli's and punk rock clubs. Expect a good entry or 3 from that trip.
"It's not enough for me,
no, it's not enough for me.
It's not enough for me,
no, it's not enough for me."
That's pretty much my fucking motto. It's really never enough for me.
Fuck. I wrote too much. I'm going to lunch.
(BTW, the lyrics are from Millencolin, from their song called "Penguins and Polarbears." I'm listening to it right now.)
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