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Movies. Adult Movies. Dinosaurs. Lunch. Basically.
2002-06-27-12:32 p.m.
First off, let me just state that I am SO FULL, that I'm sitting here at my desk actually debating whether or not to unbuckle my pants. It's that bad. After eating alfredo pasta, stuffed jalapenos, and cheese enchiladas until I was nearly sick, I decided it would be good idea to eat a piece of strawberry cheesecake and a peanut butter cookie. Ugh. Today's entry is really devoid of what I like to call a "unified theme." (As if that's not the case with all of them.) But please, enjoy. Two nights ago, Paige and I watched The Bourne Identity. She actually wanted to take me to dinner, but since I'd already ate, I opted for the movie instead. As for the movie, I'm sure you've already heard about it from someone, but if you haven't, it's good. Not great, but good. Matt Damon seems like a cool guy to me, the kind of guy who would sit down and drink a beer with you. I'm all for that. I also taught Paige to drive a standard in the parking lot of the AMC 30, and she did really well. Lots of people freak out at first, but since I'm such a great teacher (no, seriously) and she was such a good student, she had it pretty much down in about 15 minutes. It didn't even stall once. I also tried to teach her to peel out, but she was afraid she was going to break something. As if she could possibly drive that car any harder than I do on a daily basis anyway. She did manage to spin them a little bit in first, which isn't half bad since it's not exactly easy to burn 'em down in my car anway. On the way to the movie Lindsay called to see if I wanted to hang out because she was having a really bad day, but I told her I was already booked for the evening. I told her to call Rodney because he was just sitting on the couch when we left and I know he's usually up for anything. So when we got back from the movie at around 11 or so, I saw that Lindsay's car was still there, and Rodney's bug was also in the driveway. We went in, and the lights were off in the house, but the door to Rodney's room was closed and the light was on. Paige and I thought that maybe there might have been a little something going on, which I thought was funny on so many levels, not the least of which is the fact that the two of them always fighting when the three of us are hanging out. Anyway, I was very let down, because it turns out that they weren't there at all, they had went to see a later showing ofThe Bourne Identity too, and they had taken Rodney's Ninja. And by ninja I do not mean that Rodney has his own personal Japanese assassin (but boy would that be cool), but his little 25hp 250cc sportbike that he just got running again recently. To tell you the truth, I was suprised to find that thing would even move with two people on it at once. Anyway, I still think it would be great if the two of them became an item though, because Rodney could use some play, and Lindsay could stand to date a guy with some substance and who she couldn't wrap around her little finger. As for last night, Paige and I went to this Irish/Celtic pub and met up with some of the guys from the car club. I knocked back two Bass ales on tap before deciding to try a crown and coke. When the waiter brought out the next round, he handed me my drink first, and without even noticing, I drank the entire thing before he even handed out the other 3 drinks. He looked back and thought he'd forgotten to get my drink. I think it was a combination of their mixed drinks being watered down little bullshit, and my habit of mixing my drinks as half whiskey, half Dr. Pepper every weekend. I love whiskey, I'll tell you that right now. And also later. On the way home, I had a great idea. I remembered Paige and I talking about her never being into an "adult bookstore" before, and once you get out of the official city limits of Houston, there's one at every exit along the freeway. I stopped at a particular bookstore that some of my friends have said they frequent, but I'd never been to before. I have to say though, I was very let down by this place. The movies were only halfway categorized, and the few DVD selections they did have were all just thrown on the shelf with no sense of theme or anything. It was foot fetish right next to interracial, anal next to amateur, all just mixed together with no regard to efficient browsing. I mean, that's just crazy, you can't do that! I should have known though, as the name on the door was just "Adult Bookstore." That's just a cop out on a name if you asked me. At least the place across the freeway that I've went to is called "Big City News and Video." Of course there is no news there, it's all porn, but still, at least they tried to be creative with the name. I think if I opened my own adult place, it would be called "The Porn Palace" or, "Discount Smut Hut" or something like that. That's sorta fun. I'd even have some sort of mascot on the sign too. Anyway, I thought I might get a DVD selection, but the cheapest one was like 35 bucks! I figure the DVD would be higher resolution, better sound, maybe even subtitles so you don't have to miss out on all the dialogue when you're watching it with someone else in the house. Maybe even different angles to choose from so you don't have to see that "nut cam" that they always have in movies. And I only have like 2 dirty movies anymore, and I've already seen them more than once so it's not like I don't need new porn, it's just that with the advent of the internet, how can they expect someone to pay that much for it? Maybe if they'd have something I was interested in it would have been worth it, but it was impossible to find anything, what with their slapdash attempt at organization in the store. Two black ladies were working behind the counter, and one was reading Penthouse. I guess that's one of the benefits of working in an adult bookstore. The free porn. I also guess that's why no one had bothered to organize things better. Too many distractions. Anyway, we had a good time reading off all the titles from across the store to each other and generally making all the single middle aged guys in there uncomfortable. Why the hell are people so ashamed of going into an adult book store? I mean, unless you're buying one of those really out-there movies, you have nothing to be ashamed of. I'm actually wondering now how many people are reading this and are shocked that I'd do an entry about it. All this puritannical crap, it's just funny to me. Everybody likes sex, but no one wants to talk about it. That's just ridiculous. So you like to crank one off every once in a while, so you have a thing for big black women or young women or dressing up in costumes, who the hell cares? Is there anyone out there who doesn't have more important shit to stress about? My favorite title of this trip: "Black Cock Down" That was even better than my previous favorite adult-film-name-pun-about-a-war-film: "Saving Ryan's Privates." And on that note, I'm off to a planning meeting about our new dinosaur exhibit. I had a blast playing with 30 foot tall robotic dinosaurs last year, this year should even be better.
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