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Breathing out
2002-03-20-9:29 a.m.

Well, it's sorta obvious what makes Ronnie happy. Young, scantily clad women, good beer, having no responsiblity, and being surrounded by friends on a warm, tropical island.

That should be easy enough to make happen all the time right?

For Christ Jesus' sake boys and girls, on my last day of the trip, I Judged a Bikini Contest. Then I got to ride on the party boat with all the bikini contestants, the Coors Light models, and the Midori shot girls, for 3 hours, all you can drink, for absolutely FREE. Just drinking and chatting and being generally randy while overlooking the beautiful bay at sunset. Then I went back to the hotel room (actually a 2 bedroom suite) where 8 of the contestants were staying and was completely used by one of the women, who didn't even return my call 3 days later.

I ask anyone to please tell me how I'm going to top that, because I can see no way in Gods Green Earth I can. Please tell me you see my dilema.

Maybe there are some beautiful, lucky people who read my diary, to whom a day like this is typical, even mundane. If so please tell me how I can become you. ;-)

I am going to stop talking about all this because it's too much to bear. I will stop thinking about being in between the thighs of a tan, blonde haired, blue eyed 19 year old who's last name I don't even know. I will not think about shooting pool and smoking cuban cigars in mexico. I will not think about the coolest girl I ever met, who looked like Betty Paige and had hot rod tattoos and listened to punk rock music and has lived all over the country. I will not think about the friendly mexican maintenance guy at the roadside stop who gave us bologna sandwiches because he felt sorry for us (5 hours in the desert and all.) I will not think about the friendly farmer who only knew Jerry's dad, but fed us all at a moments notice. I will not think about the guy who drove an hour and a half to follow us in the limping van to the auto parts store, nor the coolest waitress I've ever met in a restaurant in a town I can't remember, where we ate our first real meal in 2 days. I will not think about what so far has been the best week of my life.

But maybe collectively I can think of the entire experience, and be happy for a long time to come. I think I've really learned that no matter how bad something may look, it can be something great if your outlook is right.

I know I've learned that the smallest little thing can snowball into something that changes your life forever. That we can get so mired down in work and goals and routine that we forget what life is all about. I have a lot in my life that is so great, but try as I might, I can't forget that it's time for a change. I had a nice, safe, comfortable little world where I controlled everything and was good at everything, but I guess I ruined that. When everything around you is different, you find out who YOU are more than anywhere else.

What else can I say? It's time to go. (and as soon as I can I will still post my pictures.) By the way, if you want specifics, Jerry is doing a pretty good job on his diary.

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