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All you need is adamantium claws. That's it.
2002-04-23-8:47 a.m.
Ok, so I'm only moderately excited about the new Spider-Man movie that opens next month. I do love comics, and Spider-Man is one of the coolest characters, but I don't care for Tobey Maguire or Kirsten Dunst, (Maybe if the movie was Spider Boy, but Tobey just doesn't have the lithe, acrobatic frame that Spider Man has always had.) And the special effects look half-assed at best. What I am excited about though, is this story that just came down the newswire from Reuters this morning: Comic Hero "Punisher" Pumped Up for Marvel Yeah that's right. They're making a fucking Punisher movie, choosing to (rightfully) forget that piece of crap low budget Austrailian movie they made almost 15 years ago starring Dolph Lundgren. And you know what else? (I'm so excited I'm also giddy I tell you) Another X-men of course, which I've been pretty happy with, but another Hulk movie. Yeah, that's right, the HULK'S BACK!!! Did you hear me James? Deck? The Hulk is back. Also in the works are movies about the other true anti-hero of the Marvel Universe, Ghost Rider. For all of you who were getting laid in high school and not reading comic books like me, Ghost Rider is this guy who used to ride stunk bikes, and made a deal with a demon for some reason I can't remember. His face is actually a skull that is permanently on fire. He dresses like a biker and has this huge chain, and he rides this motorcycle that has wheels that are made of fire. I ask you, can you get more cool? Doubtful. He only lives to take vengence on people who hurt innocents, it makes more sense if you read the books. Nicholas Cage is signed on to do this one. Fuck yeah. I'd be willing to bet that Kevin Smith (Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma) will write this. Further down the line, they're also reportedly working on a feature of "Daredevil" with Ben Affleck and Michael Clark Duncan (big ass black dude from The Scorpion King and The Green Mile.) Affleck is a comic book fan so I can see him doing a good job on this. For those of you who still aren't cool enough, Daredevil is this guy who also lives in New York and basically does the same shit as Spider Man, although his books are darker and less colorful. He's blind, but his other senses are above average, so he can hear someones heartbeat or sense when they're about to fire a gun etc. It's pretty cool. With all this in the works, can a movie centering on Wolverine be far behind? Wolverine may not have the name recognition with the general public that Superman or Spider Man does, but he's undoubtedly one of the most popular characters. I didn't think anyone could accurately portray his character on screen, but Hugh Jackman did a great job, and did better than I thought possible both in visual apperance, and in demeanor and actions. So there you have it folks, an entire entry talking about comic books. If that's not proof that I don't give a fuck what people think about me, than what does? Go ahead, make a snide comment. I guarantee I can kick your ass. Even without the benefit of super-human powers.
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