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the birth of focus
2001-09-15-2:34 p.m.

Yeah, this is one of those times where you are so overcome with emotion that you feel that righteousness that only comes with pure anger.

Some things are right, some people are good, I have some things to be thankful for. I have many though that give me such unbridled furious anger that if I didn't channel it into something I would crack. I just went outside and punched the shit out of my heavy bag, I ran 4 miles this morning before I even ate.

I wish my mom wasn't such a fuckup. That my dad had been a dad when I was growing up. I'd wish a whole lot of things, but that won't make a fuck of difference would it.

I have everything, but I've been given nothing. I ask for no help and will accept none given. I have a friend who's so spoiled it's ridiculous, he thinks the world owes him everything and won't even help himself. Oh well, it's his life to live, I'm really not here to judge.

I have enough, I still breathe, and I when I cease to it WON'T be because I chose to. Every part of me is being focused, towards what I don't know, but I have to be ready for it when it comes.

My house is disgusting. Trash is literally laying on the floor outside, there's not a clean dish to eat on, and all my mom cares about is chatting on the computer with guys she can fuck.

Don't ask me how I am the way I am, life has given me no choice. Now I have work to do.

How's that for honest motherfuckers?

--

Ronnie

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