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smoke em if you got em.
2002-05-07-12:56 p.m.
Due to events largely out of my control, or entirely in my control, I didn't get much sleep last night. So today at work I opted to not eat, but rather to take a nap during my lunch hour. At exactly 1:03 my phone rings, and it scares the damn shit out of me, and my right eye is all blurry because I was sorta sleeping on it and my left eye is only partially blurry. So I'm trying to talk on the phone and I'm still half asleep and more than half blind, and altogether still tired, but now hungry. Ladies and gentlemen, place your hands in the air, and wave them in such a fashion as to show that you are disinterested, or more aptly, don't care. Does anyone besides me ever fantasize about scrapping everything, and starting over from scratch? I do. Knowing that I could throw it all away and make myself and my life exactly how I want it is what keeps me from ever really stressing. The only reason I don't, is because I think that I'd be setting myself back by quite a bit. I do think that altogether dropping some portions of my life and some habits would be greatly benefitial. It doesn't mean that someday I won't need to cut my losses though. I think structuring my life around my personality a bit more would probably help a lot though. I already do it to some extent of course, but I bet I could do it to an even greater extent if I tried. Last week I almost took up smoking again. In case no one noticed it's a waste of money and bad for your health, and it makes things stink too. What no one will tell you however is that a cigarette can make you feel really good and relaxed, yet stimulated at the same time. And it's also a great thing to do to pass time or have an excuse to break away from an uncomfortable situation with panache. But yeah, there's the stinking, and the cancer. So I didn't take it up. I'm sure phillip morris will be reeling from the economic repercussions.
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